This girl and I have liked each other for a while, but it was only just recently that we decided to become boyfriend and girlfriend. Months before we talked about it. But she always said no, even though she said she liked me. And we hung out a couple times as ';friends'; but she always seemed careful to distance herself from me a bit. I originally thought that she was just playing games with me, so I stopped trying to get her. But recently she explained everything. It comes out that someone hurt her in the past and that now she has trust issues because of it and she's scared. But she also told me that now she wants to be with me more than she's scared of being with someone. We started going out last week and we've been having a lot of fun and she's been being much more open with me than before. But she told me last night that she's still really scared and has doubts, not because of me, but because of what happened before. I've tried to comfort her some and tell her I would never hurt her. But it doesn't really seem to be doing a whole lot of good as far as I can tell. One thing is that I just really want to hold her tightly and tell her how much I care about her, but she seems to avoid being too close to me when we're sitting together or whatever. I mean I don't want to do it sexually or anything; you know what I mean. So what should I say or do? And how should I act when I'm with her to make her feel safer? By the way, she always tries to appear really confident about things and not let anything get to her, but I can tell that she's really scared about things and I've noticed it a lot more since she's told me. And also, she hasn't told me exactly what happened. I have a few guesses, but I really don't know.
Thanks! :)(Girls especially!) How can I comfort my girlfriend about this?
So far, you're doing everything right. :) Just be there for her, and don't push it. After you've been going out for longer, I'm sure she'll open up to you more. Just be patient. You sound like a great guy, and if you just wait for her to feel comfortable and open up to you, you'll be fine. Keep taking her out, and listening if she needs someone to talk to, but don't act too curious about what happened to her before, it will come out eventually. And when you're with her, only try to sit really close to her or hold her hand or anything if she's giving you signals she'd be okay with it. With time, she will be comfortable enough with you to be a little more affectionate. Hope I helped!(Girls especially!) How can I comfort my girlfriend about this?
Awwwwh. Youre a good boyfriend! When you guys are hanging out just come out with it. say I love you and Im here for you. And ask her if she wants to talk about what happened before. It will proabably be a big thing since she hasnt told you already! I hope this helps goood luck
then tell her what you just wrote.
this other guy really must have hurt her bad
you need to bring it up in a relaxed conversation, try and pull her on your lap, and tell her that your not that other guy and that you will be there for her
-if she crys just hug her and dont say anything just rub her back and calm her down
-if she wants to talk, listen to her
basically, let her know you really do care, and you will help her get over her past relationship..
I'm afraid it will just take time though for her to really get over it ):
i hope i helped, and i wish you the very best of luck (you sound like a really sweet lad) (:
You should just be reallly sensitive towards that until it builds up to trust.%26amp; she will eventually let you hold her %26amp; tell her how much you care. but don't come on too strong with it. you've only been going out for a week too. it also depends on how bad her previous relationship was.
Don't push her on all of this, take it slow, real slow if necessary. I know that you don't want to wait, but it sounds like shes worth it to you,. She'll get better in time. She needs to find out for herself that you wont hurt her. Just act super sweet and understanding when she tells you things.
hope this helped xx c:
dont try to comfort her; she's wants to appear strong so dont make her have to feel weak. just prove to her that you will never hurt her by NOT ever hurting her. eventually she will adjust to you and feel safe around you but you cant make her, you just have to let her do that on her own time. just let her have herr space if she doesnt want to be close. thank you for being a good guy:] the world needs more.
Essentially, she maybe needs more of a friend as a lover for the moment. Try to be one, talk with her, be there for her (but not necessarily in a obvious kind of way) and give her time to open up. Take her out to relaxed walks, talk about neutral, funny things, make her nice little surprises, buy her an ice cream :) Tell her your stories -not scary ones, of course haha, tell her about your dreams, your plans, your goals. Don't insist and don't push, not in any circumstances. She will open up eventually. After that, continue to be there for her, as A.Saint Exupery said...be responsable for what you've ';tamed'; :). Good luck.