Friday, August 20, 2010

How come the my girlfriend who condemned fornication now wants to have sex? Why is she being hypocritical?

My girlfriend and I have been together for several months. We are both devout Christians. We took vows of chastity. Prior to us getting together, I noticed her condemnatory attitude towards sex, and that is one of the main things that attracted me to her since I also condemn sex. Now she wants to have sex. I don't know what to do. That is a sin.

I am mad at her for being a hypocrite and wanting to sin. Should I break up with her?How come the my girlfriend who condemned fornication now wants to have sex? Why is she being hypocritical?
Breaking up with someone over a weakness in their time of need is a cowardly, non-Christlike act!

The action of a truly supportive partner would be to address it with her and to help her fight the urges until you two can tie the knot or move on. Channel her energy elsewhere, and get her to talk to her pastor/bishop/counselor about the urges she's having.

Having the urges is part of being human. Controlling the carnal desires of the flesh is one of the hardest challenges we face and you shouldn't abandon her for being human.How come the my girlfriend who condemned fornication now wants to have sex? Why is she being hypocritical?
It's a fake question, people. I've known zero Christians in my life who ';condemn sex'; -- as in all, including while married. The dude is just goading you.

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And I dig the ';cupidgirl'; actress there, to make it look real.

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Don't be mad at her, she is either leaning towards peer pressure or afraid she may lose you. Does she know that is how you truly feel? Talk to her, tell her that is why you want to be together, because you both agreed to vows of chastity until marriage. And you still want that. And if she goes out of your close highly standard godly relationship then she was listening and may be succumbing to peer pressure in which is the lies of the enemy. Give her a choice, be with you until marriage if that's God's will, and be pure or leave on go on her own way.
Because she's human. I'm an atheist who has dated plenty of Christians, and without exception, they've all been this way.

People are really good at compartmentalizing their superstitious beliefs, and rationalizing their hypocrisy. Your belief system tells you that this is sinful/evil/whatever but the fact is it's just human nature, and these superstitious beliefs arose out of the fact that parents naturally want their children to find good mates -- especially the parents of the female, because there's an evolutionary advantage to doing so. I highly recommend a book on evolutionary psychology, like The Moral Animal by Robert Wright. You'll quickly understand why so many cultures have similar aversions to premarital sex.

Now, the following is just personal advice: Don't waste these years of your life. Some day you will likely realize that you've believed in a lie all of your life and regret that you've wasted some of the prime years of your only (as far as we know) life because of this. You will regret the missed opportunities.

But, then again, you may be religious your entire life and feel in your gut that you've done the right thing, despite nature telling you otherwise.
';I noticed her condemnatory attitude towards sex, and that is one of the main things that attracted me to her since I also condemn sex.';

Best quote of the day.

She's just being realistic. Unless you're nervous about sex, asexual, homosexual or you just don't like her, I don't know why you would deny having sex with her if she wants to and she loves you.
You should sit down with her and discuss this. Discuss what first attracted her to you and discuss that you feel very strongly about not having sex before marriage.

Maybe you should also ask her why she wants to have sex, is it peer pressure or does she not feeling attractive by you?

In the end, if you truly want to stick to your religion and not have sex before marriage and she doesn't, then you are both heading in different paths.

Best wishes to you both, may god be with you.
People are allowed to change their mind, views, opinions, and beliefs. If we were all set in our ways it would be a pretty ****** up world. Thankfully, most people change and grow everyday.

Since you want to stay true to yourself and God, don't have sex until marriage. By the way, there is nothing wrong with sex itself; the act is wonderful and I hope you fully enjoy yourself once you are married--don't hold back.

I think your girlfriend is just being human; we all want affection and to show our love in the most intimate way possible. It doesn't mean you have to dump her. If you love her, then stay with her and just be very clear that you will not be tempted or put up with her bringing sex up. If she truly can't wait, then you two will probably not be able to continue in the relationship unless you are planning on marrying her down the road.
She could have been lying to you. I grew up in a private Christian school and many of the girls would lie about their convictions either because they are ashamed of them or because they think that is what you want to hear. She may be have been telling the truth and just has come to point in her relationship with you that she ';thinks'; she wants to be with you forever and has decided to try to act on her natural human urges. Who knows most women are sluts just like us men its just a matter of time, and the right situation that they show it. Bottom line if you want to stay pure until that wedding day either, drop the hoe, or get married ASAP.
Chill, don't jump to such fast conclusions first. If you are considering breaking up with her just because of this sudden desire to have sex, then your relalationship might be dubious already from the beginning. Yes, pre-marital sex is not right in the eyes of God and it's good that you are obeying Him, but then you should see the other side of the coin as well, which is WHY is it that your gf wants to sudden do IT?

Get to the root of things first before you make any hasty decisions. =)
As a Christian, I would certainly advice you to leave her.

She is attracting you to sin...pulling to a world where you will be separated from God. Do not incur God's anger for her. She is, no offence meant, but a mere hypocrite.

She can't resist temptations, she shouldn't be involved in relationships in the first place.

Anyways, yes, I advice you to break up if she insists on having pre-martial sex. If she promises to change and pray for repentance, give her a chance.
Maybe you should talk to her, I am a Christian... and your right... it is a sin! Pray about what to do, if all else fails... yes... break up with her. I don't think she is being a hypocrite though. She mighn't just want to fit in... how old are you guys? I donno what else to say... but pray, and talk to her! Maybe you could go to a school dounselor (don't know how old you are...) k, I hope this helps!


God Bless!
If you condemn sex then you are anti-Christian. The very first thing your god told adam and eve is to go in the bushes and f**k. If you're still anti-sex then she should definitely break up with you.

However, changing one's mind is not hypocrisy.
Um...she's thinks your cute, likely wants to show her affection for you, and you're thinking of dumping her? She wants to ';wuv on ya a wittle'; and you're thinking of completely turning your back on her? I'd suggest you rethink your values, bubba.
Well - This is just human nature and I am sure God will not be too bothered. So if you are both ready for it - Go for it.

And yes she is a hypocrite for changing her views. But maybe you are Irresistable to her... Good luck
What do you believe? You say that it is a sin. You even took vows of chastity. Stick to your faith! Don't compromise your soul simply because your girlfriend wants you to give in to temptation!

No, you should have sex with her. Maybe then you'll realize how beautiful sex can be. There's no such thing as sin--just perverse religions that want to make you feel bad for doing what is only natural. Enjoy life!
Because she's just another human being. She gets horny, that's why she lives.
You shouldn't be condemning sex

Sex outside marriage, yes
LMAO maybe she is just horny?

I mean after all if there was a women out there that loved me and wanted to have sex with me what would stop me? nothing lol.
if you want to follow the bible, then yes.. flee.

if not, then you should live your life to the fullest without thinking about what the bible says....
Hmmm, if you don't have sex, maybe she'll think you're afraid. It's just a vagina, cough fanny fright
Do trolls have morefun?
you do realise that most people wouldnt be complaining in that situation.

All I got to say is

Dont be a poof
no, shes horney, just do it any ways...ull like it unless ur gay.
Yeah i think that's good idea. She's too good for you. Why should she stay with a man who can't satisfy her needs.
save your self dont do it wait untell your 40
There is no simple yes or no to this question. Your girlfriend is obviously having a hard time understanding the carnal desires within her. And like some have said before my reply, help her to seek the council of your church. If she is unwilling to at least seek council, then your only choice is to leave the situation before it upsets your feelings about your faith. She is not a true hypocrite either, people grow and change that is life. However, she also cannot go changing the originals of the situation. If you are feeling trapped by your faith in this situation, then welcome to being human. But don't condemn her decision to change. Merely look into yourself and make the choice for you. If that doesn't connect with what she wants, then you know what to do. If it does connect with what she desires, then more power to you both. Consider also that King James was the first person to truly condemn premarital sex in your book of faith. The old testament does not condemn this, in fact, it says that companions were found of their fathers. So you ask the father for permission to ';lay with his daughter'; you were in fact marrying the girl in the eyes of God.
since I cannot email you because you have it disabled; I will respond to you here...

you'd replied to my post about my life %26amp; circumstances by writing some really rude %26amp; offensive things: excuse me, but is it the ';christian way'; for you to belittle someone who is already suffering? if you were truly abiding by the Lord's wishes you would have simply encouraged me to repent %26amp; support my continued relationship with God... just so you know; it was a weak moment for me. %26amp; normally I am strong %26amp; positive which is again restored today...

having said that; I will also quote one of your responses to another person's question; ';Masturbate on my face. I would enjoy that. I could stroke your penis for you. How big is your penis? Masturbating is good for you. It helps you to get closer to God.';

2 days ago

THAT is what you wrote to someone- now who is the vile one?

I dont know who you think you are; going around condemning everyone else, because your own words clearly exemplify the kind of indvidual you truly are; %26amp; of course, God knows the truth as well-

%26amp; PS: GO AHEAD %26amp; report me- it would be worth it even if my acct was suspended-
No, you should stick it in her butt to show her the error of her ways. At first she won't like it, but keep at it, she'll learn to enjoy it, and you will too.

Sin doesn't exist
time for you to choose between your God and your girl. Glad i am not faced with your dilema.

There is no such thing as sin or God in my opinion.
Chances are she's cheated on you and is now pregnant. She wants to have sex with you so she can claim it's yours.

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