im 17 and me and my girlfriend just had a baby girl. yeah we're young we decided agianst abortion though. i just really wanna know how to be a good father. i dont know because i wasn't really raised around a father and i dont have any positive male figures i can ask...so i come online for advice. i know pathedic right.How can i be a good father to my daughter?
First of all, congrats for choosing life for your little girl.
Hmm, where to start or what to say.
Just a few thoughts as they come to me..
1. Spend time with her. That is, time when you are focused on just her and listening and talking with her, picking her up, playing etc. When she grows up this is still important. Never be too busy to have her ask you a question or come to you for comfort.
2. Be affectionate. Tell her you love her. Give her hugs and kisses. Pick her up, swing her around gently, As she gets older still find a way to express affection. Pat her on the back or put your arm around her shoulder. Touch and warmth and love is so important to growing up feeling loved.
3. Try to make yourself a good example. For example, if you don't want her to swear or lie or steal, don't do it or she will copy you.
4. Listen to her. Especially when she gets older and wants to talk. One of the things I most appreciate about my father, as his daughter, is that I could talk and talk and he would still listen to me and hear me out. It helped me sort out my thoughts and made me feel valuable.
5. Lastly, love your daughter's mother. One of the nicest things for children and that makes them feel safe and secure is the knowledge that their parents love each other and are not constantly fighting or being nasty to each other.
All the best, I'm sure you'll make a fantastic dad if you follow those five simple suggestions. Perhaps you are already. :)How can i be a good father to my daughter?
It's not pathetic at all. It would be pathetic if you weren't trying at all. The best thing you can do for your daughter is to spend time with her, and keep spending as much time with her as you can as she grows older. A child can never have too much love, everything else you'll learn along the way. Try reading some parenting books so you know what to expect - it will be a lot easier to deal with the stress of being a new parent if everything isn't a surprise. You're in a tough situation, but as long as you remember that what your daughter needs most is your love and attention, you'll be a great Dad.
Oh, and since you're so young and much more likely to remember your childhood years, you might be tempted to let her get away with stuff you wanted to get away with when you were younger. Remember, you have to do what's in her best interest, and that's not necessarily the same thing as what she wants to do. Be strict but fair, and remember even if she gets mad at you, she will forgive you again - you're her Dad.
Just use common sense, and be with her, help with her, as much as possible. wait to not ditch her! most guys leave wen their girlfriend gets pregnant
I know exactly what you mean. I was raised basically the same way. If you are still in school You should do your best to finnish or get your GED asap. Do not quit. Get a reliably stable job. Construction jobs may pay enough, but they are far from stable unless you put in the effort to set up jobs two to three days in advance as a subcontractor (but then you need insurance and worker's comp. Some companies don't care, However, it is best for legal matters). Get a good home. you could rent an apartment or house either is fine for as long as you want. AND while you are doing all of this you must remember to stay positive, always stay positive and nice. Especially to your Girls (gf and daughter). Always make yourself available to both of them. Remember that encouragement helps more then disipline or hatefull comments. Help out around the house more then you can. Buy diapers, pay bills, buy clothes (not just for you but for them as well) buy a video recording device, plan family outings (go to the park or something to get out of the house), remember that a family that plays together stays together, video record as many of the special moments as you can. Talk, talk, talk to your gf and daughter more then possible, especially your daughter because she is always gonna need her daddy to help guide her. Play with her more then possible and always include your g/f, Introduce marrage to the relationship and thus enjoy your Honeymoon. Make the bedroom(S) fun. Remember the teachings from religion, such as give a man a fish and you feed him for a day, but teach a man to fish and you will feed him for a lifetime. religion is not all bad no matter what they all have the same goal, protection of morals/society and/or preservation of life/good and understanding. Teach with understanding, patience and love, not stress driven remarks or neglect. Stay calm and always do more then you think you can. Always keep an eye out, keep her safe, keep her healthy, keep her happy, keep a roof over her head, be there for her, guide her away from bad influence, guide her into a positive lifestyle, deffinatly get a camera so that you can watch something you may of missed. Always show an great positive and healthy interest in your daughter's and gf interests. Remember that you don't just have a daughter now. You have a family. Show then support thoughtfully, morally, physically, emotionally, and economically. You can never buy to many gifts after you have paid your bills and set some cash aside for the future.
wow 17 is pretty young. you should just love your child and be there for him/her. in the long run he/she would appreciate it andlove you
Just be there for her. Don't be leaving in and out of her life, even if you are having a tough time with the mommy. Don't let your personal problems step in between the relationship you have with your daughter.
Don't miss any any special moments in her life (birthdays, holidays, graduations, etc). The best dad you can be is one who is ALWAYS there.
Also, be a postive influence in her life by keeping away from drugs, drinking, unfaithfulness, etc. As tempting as you may want to act young, she needs an ADULT to lead the way so try your hardest to act like one!
Here's some advice from someone who didn't have a good father:
- Have an open mind and an open heart
- Do not indoctrinate her with religion nor conservative bullshit (like homophobia). That way, if she turns out to be a lesbian, she'll feel that she has an ally in you.
- Let her know that she is worthy and loved.
- Help her with her homework if she needs it.
- Play with her.
- Spend time with her.
- Do not physically abuse her. Yes, spanking is physical abuse and if you did it to another adult it could be seen as assault and/or sexual harassment.
Love her, everyday, forever - that's it.
Congratulations on being a new parent. You should ALWAYS be a positive role model for your child in all aspects of life. Never do anything you would be ashamed for your child to see or hear. Be a father that your child can always be proud of. Make every effort to provide for your child's needs. The way you act, and the things you do, will be more of an influence on your daughter than words ever will. Always make time to spend with her, and show her through your actions, not just words alone, that you love her.
Be patient and compassionate. Hold your baby and talk sweetly to her. Help with feeding and changing diapers so she can bond with you. Just remember that when your baby is crying, it's not to annoy you, it's because she needs something like a diaper change, formula, to be burped, or she just wants to feel love and affection. You'll figure it out, patience is the key. Good luck.
for guys the bar is set pretty low, all you have to do is show up.
truthfully that is the key, once you show up and actually bond with your child you will do fine.