Wednesday, August 18, 2010

How do I have sex with my girlfriend if I'm not sexually attracted to her at all..?

I'm not gay cause I've had multiple girlfriends and we've had sex. I had no problems there. But my current girlfriend is very heavy but I love her so much. I usually can't keep and erection much less get one..

I don't want to bring these issues up cause I don't want her to feel bad but I've been trying to avoid sex cause it's becoming cumbersome.

I know you don't have to be sexually attracted to someone to love them and if you love them the way they look shouldn't matter but I just can't get an erection sometimes or lose it quickly when I do.

Does this make me a bad person and sallow?How do I have sex with my girlfriend if I'm not sexually attracted to her at all..?
I think Sexual attraction plays a big role in a relationship. Sex is a very important part of a relationship.

But it also sounds like you have problems getting an erection at all? Is this just for her? Or is this all the time?

If it's all the time talk to your doctor, maybe he can help, and eat foods that are high in good cholesterol, it'll help blood flow, which is necessary.

Also if it really becomes a problem maybe you should bring it up. Don't say ';Honey I can't keep it up cause you're heavy'; (and if that's not the case then don't say that at all) say something like ';I've always had issues with this'; or ';I think we should discuss this before we try to have sex';

Also, if you love her, and you know it's time for that step in the relationship look at the parts of her that you love. Maybe you love how her hair looks, or her eyes? Her laugh? Concentrate on all that makes YOU love her. It'll happen.

Good Luck

8DHow do I have sex with my girlfriend if I'm not sexually attracted to her at all..?
Not at all, the healthy male mind in a relationship often finds other women more attractive sexually. Male enhancement products are a choice but if you don't wanna go there, I would imagine another girl of the same name, last resort I know but it's the best I've got.
Fat girls will not give me an erection either... Gross. lol I hope no fat chicks read that answer.

But seriously dump her and tell her to fing a fat guy to F***
No you're not shallow...the problem I think is that you can't have a relationship with someone you're not sexually attracted to. Perhaps you might be better off as friends?? You can love your friends.
Peasee just dont have sex with her..
Your not a bad person you just might need some help

their are certain drugs that can help u get an erection ex: Viagra pills

if u really need help you could

ask your doctor

or you could just picture her as someone who does turn you on

eg:Megan fox :P
shallow but thats ok i am too. think you better start thinking of other woman to keep that erection mate or dump her for a slimmer model
You could try and embrace how she is? I didn't think body hair was very attractive before a bf of mine, but instead of being all 'ewwww shave that ewww' I decided to find ways it could be attractive and keep those in mind. If you could do the same and find ways that whatever you perceive as a flaw now could be sexy, then hey problem solved guilt free.

And well in the mean time, you can gently nudge in the direction of a healthier weight by doing active things with her and choosing healthy restaurants and all that jazz.
Viagra or XTC
no fat chicks! thats a motto to live by (and it can be applied in more situations than you think)
Not at all! Infact in makes your more of a giving, loving, and caring person.

That is a very hard situation. Don't get me wrong, love in the relationship is very, if not most, important but so is sex life. If you can't enjoy sex with her than the relationship might get difficult.

Your options are going through the motions without ever enjoying it, have more kinky sex, look into some porn and do it before you engage in sex with her, make small suggestions for her to be bedder in bed, or dump her.
Love is a very complicated emotion. There's familial love, friendship love, romantic love, etc. No, you don't have to be sexually attracted to someone to love them. However, sex is an important aspect of a romantic relationship. Not at all stages of the relationship, but eventually down the road it will be an issue.

Sexual attraction is just as complicated as love, and it's not a set formula that one can spell out. But as I said, this will be an issue down the road. It sounds like it already is. If the chemistry just isn't there, better to be honest about it now. That doesn't make you bad or shallow, just realistic.
You're not into fatsos! No ';BIG'; deal just dump the hippo and move on.
If you really love her like that then she should be the most beautiful thing in your eyes, after all she is your girlfriend..I agree, how are you with her if you're not attracted to her physically?
No, not at all, talk with her about it, maybe you two can start working out together, so she knows your with her 100%.This is very common, however most partners, end up cheating, which doesn't seem like something you would do...GOOD LUCK
dude if there is no chemistry why are you with the person. just leave the relationship and stay really close friends.

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