Tuesday, August 10, 2010

How to move on from a 3 year, serious relationship? without going into depression!?

I made the mistake of getting into a serious relationship too young (sophmore in highschool) we were both each others firsts (on everything) we are freshman in college now and he is not the same person. He has lost my trust and i just dont see our relationship healing (he didnt cheat, but his actions and text messages make me very weary of how much i can trust him when he transfers to uk in the fall from uofl). I dont want to get played from someone that has such a strong hold on me. He keeps saying he wants to stay with me and that he loves me but i think he just doesnt know how to function without a girlfriend. I knew this day would come but I honestly cant begin to figuire out how to cope. Im starting to tear up thinking about it. I just keep remembering how happy we were in higschool and its so different now. I know im an attractive girl and will be able to find someone else, I just know it will hurt to see him with another girl. Especially thinking of his touching another girl the way he touched me or holding another girl the way he held me. FML im balling now. I know, im pathetic, but this seriously sucks. Im almost 20 and needs to get out of this what is now a petty relationship with an immature guy. Please help me. Ive never felt so alone and heartbroken. I dont even have the energy to talk about this to my girlfriends.How to move on from a 3 year, serious relationship? without going into depression!?
Someone very wise said 'the only constant in life is change.' That applies to every aspect of life, including and especially relationships. Does is hurt to move on? You bet. Is there life after a break up? You bet.

There are no easy answers, nor are there any shortcuts. You grieve for the relationship you once had. Grief hurts. Allow yourself to feel the loss and the pain. Allow it, but don't lose yourself to it. You get to shape your life into whatever dream you choose. So explore those dreams even as you cry those tears. No crystal balls here. Only you and your thoughts, only you and your feelings, only you and all the things you hope your life will be. Let your heart heal. Then brush off the dust and get out there and enjoy the world. No predictions on life being better, only the reminder that life is for living. And like any storm that comes into your world, this too shall pass.How to move on from a 3 year, serious relationship? without going into depression!?
Keep focusing on your future. The past will creep up on you, but you have to keep facing forward. Do you want to be with this guy forever? Do you want to marry him? Think of how much better you could do. Think of how you're going to be happy with someone who's better for you that you can trust and enjoy and won't act like such a jerk. One day, you're going to be with the perfect guy for you, and you'll know it. There should be no question.

Unfortunately, the ONLY thing that can help you move on from a relationship is time. Lots of time. It sucks, but that's the only thing. In the meantime, keep yourself distracted with your girlfriends, and work on catering to yourself. Put all of your focus onto YOU and try to work on finding yourself. Don't reminisce for a while, save that for after you have adjusted to being single. You won't be as upset by it. This is the end of one part of your life, and it's the only way a new part of your life can begin.

I hope you can get through this, but know that you're not alone. You have other people in your life that care about you, and once you get through this you will not go into depression--you'll ultimately feel better after it all.
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