Tuesday, August 10, 2010

How do I get my girlfriend to stop talking about wedding stuff all the time?

I love my girlfriend very much, and I do plan on marrying her, but for the last few months all she wants to do and talk about is wedding junk, and we aren't even engaged. When I try and change the subject, she gets upset and accuses me of not caring about her and telling me how I hurt her feelings. Damn does it get old. I feel like she is just in it for a wedding and a big shiny diamond (which I have already purchased), but if this keeps up, I've really considered taking it back! Any body else ever been in this situation?How do I get my girlfriend to stop talking about wedding stuff all the time?
Tell her to shut the F*CK up or they'll be no wedding, tell her she's doing your nut in, she sounds like them silly brides you see on them films, going mad hiring this one and that one, NO we dont all dream about our wedding since we were 5, im getting married in July and i've only consulted himself on certain things i know he'll want to have a say in. Other than that i know well most lads are'nt too interested in sitting down talking about pink roses or red roses, its just a simple fact of life, its more a girl thing since apparently we dream about it all our lives....NOTHow do I get my girlfriend to stop talking about wedding stuff all the time?
To answer your question - you can't make her stop, because you've tried and she turns things around and makes you the bad guy.

She sounds like a bratty, selfish, hypercritical little girl to me.

If you have one shred of doubt, and if the idea of returning the ring has actually crossed your mind, that's not a good thing ... and I think you're right for having doubts.

One thing is for sure - she IS a manipulator, if she sincerely told you that you don't care for her feelings, when she demonstrated not caring for YOURS when she wouldn't shut her trap. Whenever someone does that, and tries to turn things back on you - that's not a good sign of someone who is mature, and who can handle conflict.

She's not marriage material. Attach yourself to her, and you'll never have any peace of mind, you'll never win any arguments, everything will always and forever be All About Her, and she'll make everything your fault. She is unreasonable and immature, and you can't marry and have kids with someone like that. If you're willing to wait a few years to see if she mellows, that's fine, but I wouldn't hold my breath.

Don't marry anyone until you can accept them as they are, right now this minute, and can imagine living with them for the next 40+ years. If you're not there yet, she needs to know. She will probably blame you, but that's just as well. At the end of the day, she will be someone else's problem, and you'll find a better woman that is ready to handle life.

I think you may be dodging a major bullet here. Yes, you love her, but so what? If love was all that anyone needed to stay married, there would be no divorces. You really do have to pick your wife using the big head more than the little one.

Best of luck to you, hon.
Girls dream about their wedding since they where 5. She probably started talking about it and at your disinterest she probably became worried that you are not really interested in marrying her. I would just tell her (while she isn't currently talking about it) that you love her and while you want your guys' wedding to be perfect you feel like she doesn't care about where you are at in the relationship now.
Please don't get mad at her! Many women make the mistake of talking about getting married to the point of scaring the guy off! Try putting yourself in her shoes, like another answer mentioned she might have already found out you have the ring and is waiting for you to propose but she has been waiting for months, she brings it up a lot to see if you will propose to her but you get tired of hearing it so much so you change the subject when she wants to know if you will ever propose. In short, she brings it up for months but you turn your back on it when she mentions it (and I don't blame you!) then she thinks ';Does he really love me to where he will propose?'; or ';Why is it taking so long? Maybe he doesn't want to marry me and he only says he will to please me';

Just don't take back the ring, that will be a BIG mistake and she doesn't deserve that. She may seem a little pushy on the subject of getting married but understand that it's because she loves you, and (like another answer said) she has been dreaming of her wedding for a long time. I understand that you feel sort of cornered when she brings up getting married. If she says ';I'd love to pick out my dream wedding dress'; maybe instead of changing the subject to ';Do you like that new movie that came out?'; try saying something like ';I bet that would be fun, but for right now all I want to do is spend my time with you'; %26lt;---something like that, with a POSITIVE spin. It's still about both of you, but not about getting married. You see? There is a big difference between changing the subject to something completely off topic, to something that is still about both of you that shows you care about her but is NOT about getting married. :)
I just do not think that you are ready to make a lifetime commitment. I can really understand your desire to make her shut up about wedding plans if you are not even engaged as yet. Perhaps you should discuss the way you feel about a wedding to clear the air between you. Honesty is the best policy, even in these days. Good luck
This could be her way of dropping a hint. And, it is dropping like a lead balloon !!!

Yeah, some girls really take all the wedding stuff overboard. Weddings are big business and the wedding industry catches hold of a young girl and she gets brainwashed for the simple purpose to spend money on her wedding. All these rules and traditions are nothing more than a way to get a bride excited and to spend, spend and spend.some more. She is caught up in it all.

If you think this is bad now, just wait until that ring graces her finger. She will be living, breathing and eating the topic of weddings for months and months and months. You need to tell her that her obsession with weddings is kinda consuming her and it is boorish
No, dude I can guarantee you she is not just in it for the wedding! The reason us girls are so obsessed with weddings is because it's like a fairytale for us ya know we've finally found our prince charming who loves me and wants to be with me his whole life. We dream about them from a really young age, we have scrapbooks that we fill with pictures of our dream wedding dresses, the cakes, the venues, the reception styles etc, we plan our guest list and our bridal party in high school with our best friends etc etc etc .. it's human nature for girls!! She's just so happy she's found you i.e her prince charming .. do you see what I mean?? I can understand it might be a bit weird if your not engaged yet but If you hadn't already bought the ring, she wouldn't be talking about this (at least not to you lol). You've already bought the ring and she's getting impatient. It's like waving some chocolate in a childs face and then refusing to let them have it. Are you waiting for a special day or something? You shouldn't have told her you'd bought it lol. Or did she just find out? Anyway .. if your not waiting for a specific date then why wait? I think the reason she gets upset when you tell her to calm down about it or change the subject is because it may make her think that you don't actually love her and want to be with her (lol it's how our minds work haha). I dunno man, but seriously if you love her and you already have the ring why wait? Congrats and best wishes to you both!! :) x
....Is she just in it for the wedding and the big shiny diamond? Seriously, this might be your warning sign.

I would directly tell her that there is more to life than getting married, and while you do see a serious commitment with her and you do have serious plans to make it official in the future, you want to enjoy life in the present and not worry about a wedding that isn't even in the works yet. If she can;t understand this or gets angry, then you have a problem on your hands.
Just communicate your feelings to her. She is excited, so take control, set a time line and then she will stop nagging you. Even if you say ';once we are engaged, it would still be at least another 12 months before we marry'; It's not that hard.
she is hinting, she wants you to propose to her and is getting impatient.
She probably knows you have the ring and it's killing her not knowing when you're going to propose.

I found out my fiance had my ring and he waited two whole months. It was like torture but i didn't want him to know I knew because then it would ruin his whole plan.

I didn't nag him like that though but still, she has probably somehow found out you have it and she just wants to re-affirm that she is ready to take the leap.

If her talking about wedding stuff is the worst thing she does in the relationship consider yourself blessed. Is it really worth breaking up over? You bought the ring for a reason, what's the hold up?
Pop the freakin question!!! When men get ready we are most likely already BEEN waiting and ready so get on it. Figure out a romantic way to ask and make it clean and do it. Once a guy is inlove and the lady is too and you plan to be together claiming you both are the ';one'; for eachother then its time to get married or atleast engaged ASAP! Why do men struggle with this. Marriage is a real woman's ultimate goal in a relationship with the family, home and the whole 9 yards. How hard can it be. Geeze it's 2010 hello!
1) Consider her point of view first. Why does she talk about wedding stuff all the time? Because she's freaking excited about the idea. Every little girl, from the time she's about four years old, dreams of her wedding. It's how females think. So just know she's excited. If you're excited about, say, the NHL playoffs, you'll talk about it all the time too...

2) I kinda do that too. If my guy were to tell me to just chill out about it, I would. I've done the same thing about having kids too, and he says it just scares him and to cross that bridge when we get to it. He hasn't shown as much reluctance to talk about wedding stuff (in fact, he's the one who wants to make it a big deal, so I'm trying to plan in advance as much as possible), so I'm happy to talk about it. In our case, he's the one who wants the big shebang, so I don't think he minds talking about wedding stuff.

If you mind, tell her that she needs to calm down a little bit (my guy has to do that quite frequently--it's good for both of us, I think), tell her that you've got big plans (she's trying to pique your interest, I think), and that you'd like to do the planning for now and she can do it in a little bit after you've done your part (popping the question).
Oh no, that sounds like how I used to be. I eventually got sick of it and stopped talking about it all the time because I was bored. I would just bear with her, and if you want to change the subject, tell her you do love her and care, but you also enjoy her company and talking about other stuff.

Ask her about her day, her plans for the future...if you propose, it'll get worse for a little while but it will settle down once she starts making concrete plans.

Once you propose, give her a big fat stack of bridal magazines and a planning book, and that will keep her occupied for a while. You can also say she can have it however she wants, for her to surprise you...ooh, go to some cake tastings, at least you'll enjoy yourself!

Once you're engaged, she'll start talking weddings with her mom, bridesmaids, and friends, so you'll have a little break. Plus, you get to register!

On behalf of women, we are very sorry and we're glad you guys put up with it.
marry her and she won't talk about it anymore, she will switch to something else having kids, getting a house it will always be something.
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