Tuesday, August 10, 2010

How to tell this to my girlfriend?

I know most ladies are going to hate me for this, because its a sensitive topic, but i got to ask. I've been with my girlfriend for little over 3 years. She is a great person, no question about it. In the last year and a half i have noticed that she really let herself go in terms of how she takes care herself. She has gained over 20lbs and its bothering me. She doesn't exercise, has low self esteem, she has tons of nice clothes that she doesn't even wear - almost wears the same old stuff everyday. When i see other men with their wives or girlfriends who are all nicely dressed, with nice make up and all, then i look at my gf and I'm like ...what the heck - why doesn't she dress nice or look after herself? She, like most woman, very sensitive and cries easily so i don't know how to approach her telling this stuff. She has low self esteem and i am afraid that if i tell her these things, especially the weight issue - her self esteem is even going to get worse. She belonged to a gym, she was going there every other day the first year we were together and than she just stopped. I'll make comments like in a funny way, she'll laugh about it and won't do anything. She always says, she is disgusted with herself but she doesn't do anything about it. What should i do?How to tell this to my girlfriend?
I think it's very nice of you to want to find a gentle way to tell your gf to look after herself better. You must obviously love her, or else you would just take the easy way out and dump her.

Unfortunately, there is probably no easy way to tell her that you are starting to find her unattractive.

Maybe you could offer to go to the gym with her? Point out some of her nice outfits and tell her how great she would look in this or that. Chances are though, if she's gained weight, she probably doesn't fit into any of her nice clothes anymore, so that's why she keeps wearing the same old stuff all the time. Sorry, I couldn't be more help, but it's a start. Good luck.How to tell this to my girlfriend?
I know its hard when you keep in shape and your girlfriend doesn't and you have to be careful because women are sensitive about this. I think the best way would be to get on a work out plan with her and do it together .
make her feel pretty and worthyy. talk to her, encourage her. make her feel motivated to want to do the old things she used to do.
buy her a nice outfit or dress... she'll probably wear it when you go out...
treat her to a makeover.. don't make it seem like you are trying to change her. ell her that you want to treat her to a day of luxury, shopping spree, trip to the clinique counter in Macy's, spa, whatever. amke her feel special for a day and she will want to look like that all the time. The weight issue is obviously a tough issue, but why dont you try to invite her to go to the gym with you. tell her something like you want to tone up but don't want to do it alone, or play tennis or some ultimate frisbee with you and some friends in the park. anything that is active without actually insinuating that she is overweight. if all that fails... you can always send her to the MAury show for a makeover. :)
Why don't you encourage her by going to the gym with her? Take her for long walks and when you go out to eat, take her somewhere healthy. As for the looks, pull a top out of her cupboard and say ';I miss you wearing this. It always looked so sexy on you'; and ';I miss you wearing make-up. bright eyeshadows are a real turn-on';. Good luck.
Well honestly, you should just love her for who she is. Maybe she's realizing that she doesn't have to impress anyone as much as she used to? That's how I'd feel.

But that aside, I think you should casually bring up going to the gym. Not in like a suggestive manner but in a way that won't hurt her feelings.

Maybe you should do fun things too, like surfing, mini golfing, or just hanging out and doing random stuff. Keep making her happy, I'm sure things will fall into place.

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